I am wrestling with a fundamental aspect about me which I am not willing to completely accept. The more I resist, the harder it gets and the more the universe keeps pushing into my face, as much as I hate it. I am a healer. No, I have no MD by my name or other medical affiliation. The healing is with listening and communicating.

My whole life I’ve felt like the reluctant tour guide in the Tower of Babel. Because of my crossed eyes, I was placed in a preschool for retarded kids in Russia and was probably the only normal kid there and had to learn to communicate with the “retarded” kids in their way while I was a toddler. Living with two partially deaf parents with inadequate English in the US, I had to learn to communicate for myself and translate very very young. (I was reading election guides for my parents and helping them with real estate transactions when I was 12.) I learned lots of languages for fun and intellectual interest, but I never had the intention to be a translator. I learned them for myself. But being a polyglot, I’ve been forced into translating/interpreting all the time, despite my great hatred for the task. It’s like I am a tour guide in the Tower of Babel and people are always asking me to help them communicate, including English speakers who need editing/writing help in English. Often, I feel locked in the loud tower since I can comprehend several languages simultaneously and its loud. It’s like people are yelling at me all the time and demanding help. I never asked to be the tour guide and I hate it. But, I can’t run away from this talent/burden I have.

Even when I am in a country where I don’t speak the language, I still find myself translating or communicating for other foreigners. I helped a stupid friend of my mom’s to get a taxi in Shanghai when she could not communicate with the cab driver. I don’t speak Mandarin. I even can tell when people who ARE speaking the same language are not hearing each other and I have to point out their misunderstandings. They are speaking the same tongue and still I am the translator! I think this comes from my many years of being in situations where I was in a new language environment or was forced to find a way to understand or communicate very very fast. This is great b/c I can easily adapt to new places, but I feel like people won’t leave me alone. I can’t run away from my abilities.

People come to me ALL THE (#*(&(#^@^ time with their problems — communication related or otherwise. I used to joke that I was 1-800-DIAL-a- SHRINK! Though I do like to help people, I don’t want to be the dumping ground for other people’s crap. I’ve taken major steps to distance myself from emotional parasites and draining complaining people, but my magnetism hasn’t completely died down.

My talent would serve well for a psychiatrist, psychologist, translator, interpreter, diplomat, mediator, lawyer or teacher. None of these professions interest me. So, I’ve distilled my talent into a book with the intention that people using my tools will become their own communicators and global citizens without using me as a conduit. I would like my talent to serve other people.

But will people leave me in peace when I am a published healer?

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